Interviewing Myths: Why Networking Won’t Get You Hired in 2025
Whenever I speak with a job seeker about their interviewing the first thing they share with me is that they’re networking with colleagues and emailing everyone they can on LinkedIn. I feel like Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men every time I have this conversation which is met with confusion. You need a job search strategy that works but people want the easy button.
“You can’t handle the truth!”
That’s what it feels like when I have to convince people that networking won’t land them a job interview that will lead to offer. It’s one of the biggest myths in job searching, and yet it refuses to die.
When job seekers enter the job market, they hear the same advice: network, network, network! The belief is that relationships lead to opportunities. If that were true highly skilled professionals with extensive networks wouldn’t struggle to get hired.The challenge is they have no idea how to find the jobs they want to interview for and they’re sick of being #8657 to apply for.a job that’s been reposted 4 times.
There wouldn’t be millions searching for jobs on LinkedIn daily. People are aimlessly staring at job boards and this isn’t a job search strategy it’s brainwashing.
There wouldn’t be #OpenToWork banners on profiles, signaling to recruiters that they’re available to interview. Signaling you’re available to interview to a recruiter isn’t a job strategy it’s a passive way to get to your goal. Interviewing isn’t what it used to be before 2020. The world has changed.
Yet, despite this, many people begin their job search with networking. They schedule calls, meet for coffee, and send countless LinkedIn messages only to find themselves no closer to an interview. Even now it seems people don’t want to meet in person they’re simply wanting to text, and PM instead of picking up the phone – that isn’t a strategy for job search.
What Networking Actually Means in the Interviewing Process
Wikipedia defines business networking as “the practice of building relationships with individuals and businesses for professional purposes. It involves the strategic exchange of information and resources to create connections that can be mutually beneficial.”
Business networking is not what job seekers often call networking. There’s a critical distinction. In business networking relationships develop over time, leading to shared knowledge, resources, and strategic opportunities.
With networking for job search the goal of the seeker is to ask their colleague, family member, family member’s colleague, stranger, or even recruiter to give them their database with phone numbers and emails to land an interview.
Why Job Seekers Get Networking Wrong
Job seekers approach networking differently. They aren’t engaging in an equal exchange they’re asking for favors. They want:
- A colleague’s contact list
- An introduction to their business connections
- Access to their personal and professional relationships
This is a big ask. When people hesitate or decline, job seekers often become frustrated. I understand why. After 30 years in recruiting I get how discouraging it feels to believe that someone else holds the key to your next opportunity. But that’s not how interviewing works.
Why Past Colleagues Won’t Get You an Interview
Many job seekers assume their former colleagues will play a key role in helping them secure their next interview. While people prefer to work with those they know, like and trust this does not automatically translate into referrals, interviews or job offers.
People can respect a former coworker’s abilities and still hesitate to recommend them. Recommending someone for a job is not a casual favor but rather a risk. The person making the introduction must be confident that the candidate will excel in an interview and reflect well on them. They are vouching for their experience. They are promising that the person is who they say they are and polite and kind.
Many professionals also misinterpret casual conversations as strong leads. A former colleague may express interest in helping but interest does not mean action. People are busy with their own careers and priorities. Even when they want to assist, they often don’t know how or lack the influence to make a meaningful impact.
The Problem With Treating Networking Like Interview Coaching
One of the biggest mistakes job seekers make is using networking as an emotional outlet instead of a strategic tool.
When reaching out they often explain their situation, share frustrations, and detail why they’re looking for a new role. While this is natural, it’s ineffective. When people are nervous or anxious they also tend to overshare. Oversharing about what happen can lead to emotional shares that aren’t well received. Sometimes the person listening to this feels uncomfortable and in a way, guilty for having a job while the other person doesn’t.
Most don’t want to spend time listening to someone else’s job search struggles especially when they know the conversation will eventually lead to a request for help. During the small talk the person who isn’t looking is often waiting for the chit chat to end and the request to be finally spoken – “Can you take my resume and share it with anyone you know that might be hiring?”
Networking should never be about venting or seeking validation. Conversations should be direct, focused and purposeful. Professionals who spend too much time explaining their situation lose the attention and willingness of their network.
Hiring Managers Do Not Prioritize Networking Over Interview Performance
Many job seekers believe that personal connections influence hiring decisions. While referrals can open doors, they do not guarantee an interview.
Hiring managers care about one thing: their opinions, their jobs, their current teams and not feeling like they have to do anyone a favor.
At the executive level hiring decisions are highly strategic. Companies focus on financial performance, operational efficiencies, and business growth.
If a company relies too heavily on referrals, it often overlooks better-qualified candidates. This reinforces the fact that hiring isn’t about who knows whom—it’s about who delivers the greatest impact.
As The Ethical Downside of Hiring Based on Internal Referrals states,
“It occurred to us, though, that referral practices have rarely been examined using an ethical lens, even though anecdotal evidence suggests that it is a practice that potentially represents morally murky territory in which special interests and the exchange of favours can dominate, above and beyond the merit of a candidate.”
This means referrals can create biases that override qualifications. Candidates should never rely on networking alone, because hiring managers don’t prioritize relationships instead they prioritize interviewing results.
When a Referral Does More Harm Than Good in Interviewing
One of the biggest risks of relying on referrals is that job seekers have no control over the reputation of the person making the introduction.
If the referrer is respected and well regarded their endorsement can be well received. But if they have a history of poor judgment, unprofessional behavior, or a bad reputation, that association can do more harm than good.
Hiring managers don’t just evaluate the candidate they also assess the credibility of the person making the recommendation. If that person is known for backing unqualified or problematic candidates, the job seeker may now be seen as just another one of their bad bets.
As The Ethical Downside of Hiring Based on Internal Referrals explains,
“We identified a major and non-obvious factor to explain organisational members’ reactions to referral-based hiring decisions: the relative power of the referrer to the hiring manager who accepts the referral.”
This means referrals aren’t just about qualifications they’re about office politics, reputations, and unspoken obligations. When a hiring manager feels pressured to accept a referral, the entire process becomes compromised.When the person woh is interviewing is ghosted all of a sudden it might not have anything to do with them but rather the person who referred them to the company.
The Right Way to Approach Interviewing for a Job
Networking can play a role in a job search, but it should never be the foundation of a career transition. The most successful professionals are those who:
- Position themselves as indispensable
- Engage with decision-makers strategically
- Create opportunities through execution
A job offer will not come from a coffee meeting or a casual introduction. It will come from demonstrating real business value.
The professionals who understand this don’t rely on their network to land roles. They take control of the process, position themselves as the only viable solution, and make hiring managers see them as a let’s get them an offer as soon as possible!
Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. If you are facing age discrimination, workplace harassment, or other employment-related issues, consult a qualified employment attorney for guidance on your specific situation
